Dear Diary; Each Step is Light

As Anadi and I walked the streets of London on Saturday, I felt more acutely aware than ever the truth of presence – of being where we are. Of acceptance that all that is, in this moment could be no other way; and that we make a difference in the world by our own presence.

We saw a helicopter overhead and surmised that there was protesting happening in London Town.

We decided to investigate and along the way saw many police officers – we asked what was happening…. We were informed that it was ‘The kill the bill’ protest… We walked miles but didn’t find the protesters…

I was aware, as we walked the streets together watching the world all around us, that freedom comes from within… If there is alignment within then all our actions make a difference… Whether we are on a path of protesting for something or sitting having a coffee.

External change comes from within and following that energy wherever it takes us

Following our own truth whatever that may be…

And knowing deep inside that Presence, is all there is.

In every moment there is limitless possibility – in every moment we can create 

We do create.

Our lives, unfolding with every breath.

If we are aware our our breath and we are able to feel the energy, the life force within us and all around us.

We can know deeply that we are that energy.

The energy that is creating always; it has created universes and is ever expanding…

As are we.

To return to the present moment, all we need do is take one conscious breath in, and breathe out anything we are holding onto – and then fully experience the space at the bottom of the breath before we breathe in once again.

In that space is the all pervading truth.

If we stay with this space then we are able to live beyond the duality of the mind

Which can dart hither and thither.

Instead we can direct the flow of this energy, and focus on what we want to think; rather than our thoughts thinking us…

It is this simple.

But as complex as the human mind with its diversity and madness when left unchecked.

And so with every step we take

With every breath we breathe

We can be still and know who we are.

The wars of the world of duality have always been here; trauma, drama, pain, anguish, division…

This is the normal state of madness of the mind.

The truth of who we are is silent

The witnesser to it all.

For a change in society – we must change within, because the irony Is that if we are trying to change the world, we have set off in the wrong direction

To change the world it is required that we are silent within

Totally present

Presence itself 

In each step

And then our path is revealed from this place…

We know when to speak or not to speak – to make a stand or not. 

Our path is clear from the inside out.

When consciousness flows through us we light the world

When we are a light unto ourselves then each step is clear 

Each step is light…

Whether we are shod or not!

Dear Diary; Miracles Occur from this Place

‘Everything changes but God changes not’

I grew up with these words an integral part of my being…

I loved this hymn, we sang it often when I was at my junior school in morning assembly.

The words had a profound effect on me even as a young child… I was already aware of our unchanging nature which is always there – witnessing, watching…

Being

And as the years unfolded I learnt that when we experience the silence, the stillness within us and are able create the gap between the chatter of our mind and the concerns in our body – then we fully feel the flow of creation 

And know that everything is possible.

That we are eternal, there is no death… That we were never born and we can never die, and that we are here to experience the flow of life.

The source energy from whence we came is flowing always, the flow of life of which we all are a part of.

The hub of the wheel…

Us the spokes.

Sometimes we forget that we are all the hub and that we have created universes from that well spring and that we are the universes that we have created…

And so everything is possible.

We haven’t even approached tapping into the limitlessness of our potential, our energy that has the power of ten thousand suns…

Anadi and I were running about in the park this morning talking of these things. The magic of life. The power of fun, of joy of vitality.

It is all too easy to get consumed by the projections out into the world of despair and pain.

But when we have any awareness at all that everything is a reflection of us

So within – so without

Then all we must do is access the fun within the moments, and clear any pain that arises without attaching a narrative to it.

We feel to heal, as the emotions arise, we can clear clear clear – and resist the urge to loop the loop with our old stories – our old programmes and patterns; familiar but often without possibility 

So often we are pulled back into an abyss of fear and despair – just through reading a paper – or turning on the television…

If we do choose to read the news, it’s important to read it with a light touch

Believing nothing.

To your own self be true.

Watch your own inner barometer – when it strays away from the joy of the moment

This perfect shimmering moment, where all is well…

Then the process is simply to access again the barometer of fun, of the joy we feel in seeing the crocuses and snowdrops in the park, the magnolia bursting forth

The squirrels running

The green grass wet with delightful drops of dew

The sky blue.

A goose wandered leisurely across my path and I loved that goose, so perfect in every way.

For change in the world, for societal change we need a change in consciousness

to feel the joy, the love

To feel the fun

To connect to the vital life force within

Miracles occur from this place

Dear Diary; A Light unto Ourself

As we ran adventuring through the parks Anadi and I passed a table tennis competition – both players were focused and engaged while cars zoomed all around.

Marble Arch rose above them …

Police in cars, and some more in groups on foot gathered there too…. We made up the two were unrelated…. But who knows?

It was like running through a scene in a dream with seemingly unrelated connected events all happening at once…

Life…!

Further on we encountered a group of people congregating by a pushbike with a big poster stuck onto it heralded a meeting about the politics of freedom of speech… We stopped to watch a bit and enquire as to what was happening, but they were unforthcoming about their plans…

On we ran.

Big white tents were being erected in Horse guards parade and big vans were parked there too… Large cameras stood dormant, covered with plastic.

We asked the lady on the gate what was happening…

‘They’re filming an event to celebrate VJ Day … It will go out on August 15th’ – she told us. We chatted with her awhile and told her about the events in Hyde Park… ‘You’re running’? she asked; ‘Well, we’re on an outing really’, I replied…

‘With time to stop and chat to people like you’ – Anadi laughed…‘And time for a coffee break too’, I added…

Fortnum and masons doors were open; the interior beauteous to behold… We stood in the doorway awhile gazing at the sumptuous fare set in its luxurious ornate world…

The woman on duty at the entrance invited us to go in and take a proper look, but in shorts and vest we said we were a bit sweaty and not really dressed for it!

So on we ran

To Sloane Square.

Where we sat for awhile and I made a little video, remembering times gone by, sitting right here…

It never happened

Just a story now

And I am the same

But oh so different

Time that doesn’t exist has leant me the opportunity to reflect and clear and shift and return to my true self, and to always allow time in this perceived real world to be with just me….

And let go further of the me

That doesn’t exist…

This world where everything we engage in is a chimera in comparison to the truth of who we are…

Meditation

Our own space

Our own silence

To experience who we truly are

To be a light unto ourself

Alone 

Dear Diary; Alive with Aliveness

Rising up to our self requires simply silence – and letting go.

To fully live we let go.

Into meditation and mindfulness, and we remember that we have always been free

But there is no rush

No need to make meditation another thing to do

Simply an orientation

A steady daily practise.

To be quiet and remember who you truly are.

When we are free of the past, and full of presence in the here and now, we can use our conscious mind to its full potential.

Only five or ten percent is generally in use; our actions mainly arising from programming and patterning.

Deep seated beliefs and ideas; stories programmed in, embedded so strongly… Emotional responses coming from a childhood past that some barely remembered…

Never here

Always there.

And so stop

Be still

Be here

Let go of all the thoughts.

Let go

And experience the vastness of the soft milky void of silence, alive with aliveness! 

Dear Diary; The Centre Point

I am sitting on a wall on the Kings road watching the people… All the different energies going by and by and by… Some faces are covered by masks…

Two young girls appear with hope and energy and enthusiasm in their step, in their own bubble; together; laughing, in comparison to others who are looking tired and tense… Everyone making their way somewhere…

Moving, breath by breath

Towards the end of this life, the end of this incarnation – when this body will die, and all we know, will be gone. 

Many cling – in fear – to life…

But in fear there is no life.

And in true life, there is no death.

We must die to live

We must die to who we believe we are, to fully live, to grow and flourish in this lifetime…

Which is the seed of the real life. 

The tree

Of life.

But the seed must die, the imagined self, for the tree of life to grow.

A couple are hugging a lot, in the sun, and kissing, and hugging some more, and smiling…They look happy – they don’t look tense or tired. They look to love one another…

Two women speaking in a foreign tongue I don’t recognise, arrive with their little children; glad of the sun and the space to sit and watch while the children play… So that they can talk.

They look at ease too; not tense or worried… In summer dresses – love for their little ones etched in their beings

Love – all there is, infinite love the only truth, where life can blossom in every step of our inevitable journey

As I sit here writing, it flows from within me, from the silence; my mind only being used to form and to type these words, the language of my silence. For silence speaks volumes.

Silence is the only language.

It is the source of truth

The centre point.

The place to live and experience this universe of polarity.

Beyond the duality

The Centre point 

Dear Diary; Teeming With Life and Potential

It’s late on Thursday afternoon, and I have been walking about, along the Kings road again; I walk about a lot now.

In this new phase of life, I like walking… I like journeying somewhere or nowhere.

I have often been happier journeying than arriving; perhaps because there is nowhere to arrive to.

There is no destination

No place to stop

Walking…

I like travelling, the space between; existence, no thought, no thing to say

Journeying…

There is only the inward journey to the centre point of silence  which is teeming with life and creativity… Silent, still, full of potential, awareness and aliveness.

We can experience everything, anything or

No thing 

From here.

This morning I ran intervals on the grass at Battersea Park… I love running fast; intervals can challenge at a very core level, because they ask me to be in the step without thought; and to stay still within the effort, the demand, the power and energy of the step.

Sometimes intervals are too hard

Sometimes life is too hard…

And yet we keep taking the next step – even if we have stopped – the step happens as the world turns… Time as we know it keeps moving and so to do we.

And yet there is no time

There is only now

Time an illusion

There is no time, and so nothing is moving… The real challenge is to be still within the illusion of movement.

Within the journey of this life; and to create from that centre point teeming with life, potential – energy.

Whatever we would like to experience…

In August last year, I experienced doing a handstand again, for the first time in thirty five years. I hadn’t been able to do one for all those years, because of my troublesome left side.

But I wrote it down ( in 2012!) as something I wanted to experience again…

I wonder if anything that I write down, as long as it comes from the core of my being – will happen?

That I will get to experience it in the body….

Dear Diary; Creativity in motion

Yesterday morning I woke early; I cleaned my flat – in my pants…! 

Then put my running kit on, and by 8am, everything was all sparkly clean and I was all ready to run…

At the moment, I have no running  goals, no races that I am aiming for – But I like to run – for fun, for fitness.

My creative expression…

I stepped out of the door, no real plan in mind – not even a route.

I turned up…

In front of my own blank Saturday morning canvas

I also had no real plan for my ‘Conversations with a Bodhisattva’ group.

Where I intend to show up every day for a year – at least – to see what happens…

With my creative flow…

Where will it go?

Me in motion – my canvas….. The roads, the parks, the globe…

The video camera and the blank blog page…

Even when we are not sure – turn up at the page

Even when we are afraid – turn up at the page

Even when we have nothing to say – turn up at the page

Even when we don’t want to – turn up at the page

Because magic can happen in the act off stepping out of the door, up to the easel, to the kitchen to cook; to the piano to sing…

A space of finding out…

If we want to aim for the stars, run a race, create a home, a meal, a symphony, a song, pass an exam, change the shape of our body, learn a language 

We need to turn up…

And in turning up, we can explore what it is we might want… Investigate it more deeply, open the door to our dreams…

And while we are there look for where there are blocks, the incongruencies, the hold ups…

We want to start the day running – but we love to lie in bed

We want to be slimmer, but we so love to eat

We want to pass an exam, but prefer to meet friends than revise…

All of this must be brought from the shadows, into the light

In the light we can we work it all out; integrate it and we are set free

To plan the next stage… 
How do we do this dream? What do we need…?

To reach for our own star….

The plan unfolds… The journey has begun; we must give ourselves time – and relax in each step

Remember to breathe – and find the silence in the breath, stay in each step as we make our way to our goal….

Turn up each day with or without a spring in our step – a space in our heart to find out; to unravel; to turn this way and that …

To discover things we never knew about ourselves, about life, about others.

To uncover latent talents, inner strengths.

To learn new skills..

As our creativity flows…. And then the goal – whether we reach it or not – has served its purpose…

Our creativity spilling out

Us in motion each day

The blank canvas alive – with our energy and light.

Dear Diary; The Universe is Within

The universe is within not without

The reflection you see is you, your inner energy, your inner tapestry, your lifetimes of craftwork

There you are on the outside – so look within.

There are no messages from the outside, they are within – and there you see them in front of you …

Take note of your own messages to you, your own weaving work; it is all you.

This is certain

And so be still

Be silent 

Stop and listen to the beating of your heart, the voice within.

Your unconscious mind so often in charge, repeating its programming again and again

Stop – stand still – witness and be aware.

What is occurring?

It’s all to do with you

And if you are silent, still – there is space, there is peace, there is all the time in the world to remember who you truly are…

Infinite awareness.

You are not your mind, conscious or unconscious…

Or this body that walks and talks and lives and breathes.

You are the silence between the breath, infinite awareness, infinite love.

Be still

Know this

And in the silence you become the master of your mind; not it of you.

Be aware in any moment, of the habits the patterns the habitual thoughts… 

Stay silent and witness the abundance the opportunity for you to paint the picture you desire, the fun you’d like to have… 

The experiences here you’d like to enjoy.

You are the master of your body and your mind

It is not the other way round.

The universe and all there is is within you, your infinite nature of love eternal.

And you can experience this

Here and now