Dear Diary, So Many Lives

Last Saturday I was sitting in the sun on a bench under a tree in the Duke of York square, an old man came and sat nearby with his coffee… I noticed his energy reach towards me even though he was turned away…

Anadi came back with our coffee and juice and sat beside me…

The old man got up, came over and stood in front of us… ’Are you on holiday?’ – he asked… ‘Every day is a holiday’ Anadi replied, smiling.

‘We live here’ I explained, ‘but every day does feel like a holiday…’

‘Do you know who lives over there?’ he pointed up to a flat that looked over the square…

‘Who lives there?’ –  we asked…

‘Are you old enough to know the Beatles?’ 

‘Everyone knows the Beatles’ Anadi laughed…

‘Well who’s left?’ – he continued… ‘Paul McCartney’ I offered, ‘Ringo’ Anadi replied

‘Yes, that’s the one’, he nodded… ‘Ringo lives there…’

He then started to tell us about the many other well known people who live round and about before starting on his own life story…

‘We came down from Kings Lynn with my Mother because of the flooding, we moved to Battersea, which wasn’t like it is now…I started to swim in an indoor pool – they were all outdoor where we’d come from, and freezing cold – and then there was the boxing club next door, so I joined that…

My brother and I started with the boy scouts and when it was ‘bob a job’ week we couldn’t get any work around Battersea, and so we tried Chelsea instead – that’s when I fell in love with the Kings road… I was 14 and we had jobs for the whole week…

I went into the theatres and asked if I could do some work there and they told me to come back in the summer… ‘

He told us how he did go back in the summer, and was soon earning £15 a week ‘More than my Dad’, he offered…

He told us more of his life , the famous people he had met and how eventually he ran a well known deli on the Kings road, which sold Caviar for £48 a portion…

We sat sipping our coffee and munching on croissant listening to his tales, the sun warming us

He finished by telling us how he and his wife sold their home… ‘The estate agents suggested £1.8 million – Our faces fell when they told us that, so they suggested 1.9’

‘We said “no” and put it on the market for 2.5… Within a week nine people had offered to buy our home and so I suggested the agent offer someone to gazump…!

‘We got £3 million, it’s still in the bank’ he finished, laughing…

A man with a camera around his neck was hovering … ‘Hello Joe’, he said ‘How are you doing…?’ He chatted awhile and then the man with the camera showed me some of his photographs, ‘They’re fabulous’ I said…’I’ve photographed Stella McCartney’ he responded…

Joe told us he is 80 now, and he still loves the Kings road.

I told him I too fell in love with the Kings road when I was 14 and came on my first solo shopping trip to London here…

They both went on their way…

Anadi and I than walked over to Battersea Park, we sat on the grass in the hot hot sun;

‘Life is such fun’, I said, ‘all these people we meet, their lives and their stories…’

So many lives… So many stories

So much love, so much living

Dear Diary; The Story of Our Lives

On Saturday afternoon we were in a stationers… Anadi was spending lots of money on items for his business and getting some forms printed off; while he was engaging with the store keeper I had spied two little notebooks! One blue and one purple…

The thing that I enjoying buying more than anything in the world, are notebooks… They bring me great joy – I had to limit this habit as a nomad!

I picked up the two little books and placed them on the counter…

Anadi had come to the end of his list and was about to settle up…

‘These too please’ I proffered 

The proprietor waved his hand ‘It’s fine, you can have them’ he said…

Anadi chatted a bit more and completed his card transaction and as we were leaving I turned back to the vendor… ‘And thank you so much for my notebooks’

He nodded and smiled and then said ‘I hope you will use them productively…’ 

Do I use my notebooks productively….?

I know that they always feel to be the conduit of possibility, new routes, ideas… 

The opportunity to travel the road less travelled…

Sometimes they record my clients lives and dreams, their confusions and struggles – the books seem to have magic properties all of their own – of sorting and settling and diving deep into the soul of the person, connections and insights, clarity emerging from the pages…

Sometimes they record my inner world, my own insights, my silence, my freedom, my inner journey…

Sometimes they hold the very fabric of my external world together, with lists of things to be done, people to contact, errands to be run, items to be bought… 

But for me always, they hold all the possibility that the blank page holds.

A fresh canvass on which to make anything up at all…

Our life in each moment, the script being written as we go…

Always new

If we want it to be…

Or are we going to write down the old familiar lines, the ones we have almost learned by heart and in truth don’t need to write down anymore in our new notebook with its blank page of promise…. 

On the blank page of possibility what do we want to make possible in our lives now…?

The magic notebook will reveal the dream and then the dream can begin to unfurl…

Once we have thought something our energy starts to move towards that outcome…

Which is why it is important that we start to become aware of what we are feeling, and what we are thinking, in each moment…

What are we writing in the notebook of our lives…?

Dear Diary; September Morn Now

 On Sept 6th 2019 – I wrote this in my diary…

‘Today is September 6th, a new life begins today… I followed the instruction of the voice within and I find myself travelling to work in the middle of London Town… “Everything is changing… I will strive after whatever my inward voice commands… Not tarry anywhere but where the voice advices me”…’

I remember the nerves fluttering about my chest while I sat on the tube on my way to my new destination. I watched the feelings reminiscent of the first day at a new school, a new job, a course, a new path to who ever knows where it will lead…

And today one exact year later, I felt the familiar feelings of ‘pre race nerves’ – the same slight flutter within as I once again went into the unknown…

The familiar path of tarmac and one step in front of the other… And yet each new race never been trod before…

I have been running races for nearly fifty years – doing the same thing but always exploring the unknown…

In the same way that I watched the feelings as I sat on the tube a year ago – I watched these feelings too as I jogged to the park on a Sunny Sunday September morn…

A sign at the start of the race said it all… ‘Remember you can’t reach what’s in front of you until you let go of what’s behind you…’

All the races I have ever run, are done… They never happened… Now in this moment there is just the running step in front of me; whatever has gone before has gone and everything is new uncharted territory…

So even though I have been running races for so many years – today was my first race ever…

Being focused only on the process is quite possibly the reason I keep on turning up on a start line, because the other races have all disappeared like the wake of a boat…

It is a strange thing that I should choose to spend my life running as fast as possible from A to B, whilst learning deeply that life is not a race…

There is nowhere to get to… Striving to win and ‘get there’ can so often be a disappointing and exhausting journey…

This is not to say that goals are not fun – a goal to focus on fully can be the most wonderful experience…

Full focus on a process brings us joy in each step…

And then whether anything comes of it or not is not of importance, because we will have developed new skills, uncovered inner strengths and become wise with the experience… We will have fully lived each moment.

As I raced down the tree lined avenue on this sunny Sunday morn, suddenly beside me there she was, running alongside me the 29 year old me who raced here too, this exact same road… Running running running…

She covered the ground much faster than I do now…

But she discovered as the years went by that the real joy was in the run to become; she became the run – she stayed in the step and the next and each one turned into the next…

She’s still running now – after all these years; that never happened – she’s still running now…

Dear Diary; Be Aware and Learn to Clear

I was running along the road towards Chelsea Bridge on my way to run around Battersea Park… Ahead of me a woman skipped along childlike and free; she skipped she jumped and occasionally she ran a bit too.

The scene was joyous and fun, her energy uplifting and light…

I caught up with her at the traffic lights… ‘That was so joyous to witness’ I said to her as we stood side by side waiting for the lights to change ‘Your energy is of a child having fun’…’ She laughed, and then turning to me she said ‘But look at you – you’re ageless…’

Two women with an added time on the planet of circa 110 years (I would guess) with the magical child within alive and well, and enjoying running jumping and skipping along the road at 8’o clock on a Wednesday morning.

The only 8’o clock ever to be witnessed on that particular Wednesday, never again to occur – gone in a flash – every moment gone, the future now the past…

So I lived that moment as the clock ticked the time away, and soon it was 8.15am on that same unique particular Wednesday morning… And I was in another paradigm, another world, meeting Anadi on the grass by the trees where the parakeets swoop and squawk.

We played on the grass together – he and I – the organised formalised fun of our circuit, which sometimes I enjoy hating, burpees for instance; I get great pleasure hating burpees! 

But they never hate me back – true love – however much I hate them, they never take it personally…

Loving life is a choice; Loving is a choice…

In each moment we do have a choice to recognise the feelings, the pain, the thoughts that arise… To be aware, and to learn to clear – to learn to look towards joy rather than pain.

So often we are used to pain, the cycle of feelings… Do we feel angry with someone, hurt by someone, eternally frustrated and annoyed with someone…?

It can be a revelation – or we can resist recognising – that the person who we believe to be the perpetrator of our pain, our anger, our hurt our frustration is just the object that we are projecting the pain within us onto…

And of course this only perpetuates this pain and around it goes again, feeding the inner cauldron of toil and trouble.

Anger is a curved sword, but so are all the negative emotions we project onto another person or a situation…

With awareness we can instead start to recognise these feelings as they arise – and choose to learn to clear them, to choose different thoughts and so to change our lives… Instead of cycling around and around we can choose to chase our joy…

To skip and jump along the street instead of dragging our heels and our heavy hearts…

To commit to healing our inner state rather than projecting and perpetuating.

To choose to love hating burpees and have fun doing so!

Dear Diary; Freedom and Love are Within each of us

I jog 2.5k up the Fulham road to my destination, the doors open automatically – I tap in my pin and the pod door slides open… Stepping in I wait for that interminable second while the other side decides to allow me into the magic underground palace that is Pure Gym… Onto the treadmill for some intervals and then off back along the Fulham road and straight in and out of a shower to be ready and shiny clean new for Anadi to arrive…

We catch the number 22 bus, jump off at Green park, and walk along to Regents street to my office that was until March – and I give back the keys… 

A year ago I said to the Regus salesman – ‘it’s just an experiment – I’ll give it a year and see what happens…’

The year is up… It’s happened… I look at the office – I worked there once… And I feel like Neo in the matrix – ‘it never happened.’

We wander on down towards the Mall and up to Trafalgar Square where thousands of people are gathered for the Freedom March …As we approach the energy is tangible and we can hear a chant ringing out, a call for freedom – ‘No to masks’ – ‘no to mandatory vaccines’ – ‘no to control’ – ‘no no no…’

Banners held high – ‘Freedom over fear – Power to the people…’

Freedom from fear will set us all free and we can reclaim our power, now – now we can make that choice to let go of our fear…

Because we cannot be free when we live in fear… Fear is the real threat to humanity

There is no fear in freedom…

And freedom is our birthright… 

Freedom is within everyone of us… We have the chance now – and now – and now to let go of anything blocking us from relaxing deeply into this moment, into who we truly are.

No one can control a truly free person… Whatever is occurring in the outer realms cannot shake the truth within each one of us that we are infinite awareness…

Spiritual beings treading an earthly path.

A truly free person is in the world, but they are not of it… They know deeply that the only truth is infinite love…

‘There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…’

If we wish to make a difference in the world, our work is moment by moment to free ourselves from any fear and re discover the true source of our power which is at the centre and circumference of all our being… Love

Love is not something you can do, it is who you are…

Dear Diary; You’ve Got a Friend in You

Julia Chi Taylor - Bodhisattva Conversations

We often read what is expected of us as a friend…

We might see posts on Facebook for instance, where there is disappointment expressed… People not being there, letting us down when we needed a friend.

We might hit hard times, and ‘know who our friends are’, because those are the ones that stay or help or support or talk…

There are covert rules in friendship, set up without discussion. Sometimes these work just fine, with two people ‘working’ off the same ‘map’, with the same beliefs and ideals…

We are always existing in multiple levels of context…

Whenever two people meet, there will first be the relationship between them – in this case friendship – and the episode, which might be meeting for a coffee and a catch up…

Then comes the unseen ‘map’ both carry with a whole set of internal, sometimes unconscious, beliefs about what happens next… These will be based on family ideals as well as societal, cultural and spiritual beliefs…

And it isn’t until one of these is ‘broken’ that they reveal themselves.

A family belief or rule for friend 1 might be to always send a thank you note for a gift or a treat. If this isn’t true for friend 2 then when they don’t receive the thank you note, they might feel unloved, disappointed, let down, under valued.

So once again we return to the space.

The space between two friends is where the relationships exist; how safe and how full and how abundant this space is defines the quality of the relationship.

This can only be worked out in each case; and the most important person is ourselves…

Because nothing is personal.

So if a friend has some different ‘ways’ to us, then if they ‘touch our buttons’ in any way; the first action is to clear our reactivity.

For instance, we must investigate and seek to clear the feeling of upset if a friends hasn’t sent a thank you note, or is late for a meet up, or hasn’t been in touch for a long time, or takes longer than we might to reply to a text…

Because any reaction is ours to clear… Do we feel abandoned, let down, unloved?

From a clear space we will be in a position to explore the ‘rules’ within the relationship. It will become evident whether it is simply something that now doesn’t matter a jot, or whether you would like a behaviour change, and if so, it is important that the space is safe to investigate this…

To create any ‘rules’ in friendship or in any relating, the higher the self esteem of all concerned the easier it is to explore. And high self worth comes through working to heal and clear anywhere within us that we do not feel good about ourselves.

Because of course there are things that build the relationship and things that break it down… So it is for us to work out when it is own reaction that is separating us, or whether the behaviour of another is not something we find enjoyable in friendship…

Friendship is meant to be fun, a place to share and love and be together, as well of course to grow.

Some friendships have seasons… Time when we do many things together, see one another a lot, share and love and laugh – and then life changes and there is a big gap – but this doesn’t mean that the space isn’t safe…

It can be silent and still with no meeting or talking for a long time; but still be safe and loving and ready for the next encounter.

And sometimes friendships end…

Although of course relationships cannot end or begin in the deepest sense because we are always all connected all of the time.

We are one…

But it is what we do with the connections at various times, when the illusion of separateness allows us to see ourselves more clearly in the mirror of the friend in front of us.

And if an apparent ending happens, then this means that there is no longer a reflection… Not for now anyway, because the orbit may occur in the future, and once again we find ourselves in the reflection of one another

And so it is…

The most important thing is that we strive to be the best friend to ourselves that we can be… That we heal the gaps to wholeness and true love of ourselves and then this will of course be reflected in the relationships we encounter in our lives.

Dear Diary; The magic can begin

Julia Chi Taylor - Bodhisattva Conversations

Anadi and I met up outside the gym to go for our Sunday breakfast…

We discovered a Pure gym in South Kensington on our weekend wanderings, and so I immediately reactivated my membership… 

I am in my element in a gym, and it had been a delight for to be in the familiar environment after six months and now I was looking forward to meeting up with Anadi… We wandered to a cafe and sat drinking coffee and eating delicious pastries watching the world go by and the people all around… Life, relationship in motion

Sitting and watching all the dynamics around us, made me think of ‘The Four Horsemen’ of relationship…. I was first attracted to the work of John Gottman some years ago, and I found his ideas really powerful and helpful both in my own relating, but also in guiding others…

He is a professor emeritus in psychology and he is known for his work on marital stability and relationship analysis, and in particular for having identified the four behaviours that are the most destructive to relationship…

He calls them ‘The four horsemen of the Apocalypse’.

These four behaviours are :

Criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling.

All relationships are likely to experience these dynamics at some time, and sitting in cafes and restaurants, on trains and planes and looking around out in the world there is evidence of them occurring, sometimes very obviously, sometimes subtly – and of course sometimes not at all…

It would be ideal that they be eradicated completely – but it is the frequency with which they appear in relating that can predict whether a relationship is in trouble and whether the people will stay together or not….

Criticism is a very deadly weapon in relationship – in any relationship – but it can much do much damage to the health, harmony and safety of the space between a couple.

The ‘space between us’ as I wrote about in my last blog is where the relationship is existing… Contaminating it with criticism depletes and reduces friendship, love and the firm foundation of any marriage or partnership.

Criticism is a personal attack, it is saying that the person is somehow flawed… It can immediately block any way of communicating and connecting, or creating the space to genuinely explore and uncover what the need within the criticism is, and so address the real problem.

It also inevitably leads into the next ‘horseman’ which is that ‘the other’ becomes defensive and so neither person feels validated or listened too…

However unfair the criticism, when we are defensive it can escalate the problem. It means that there is no space to create a solution, or perhaps hear that we have some responsibility for the issue…

It separates rather than joins together… Therefore when we feel defensive, it is very important that we ‘press pause’ and recognise that being defensive never creates harmony, or maintains connection or allows the space to work things out together.

Sitting about in cafes, as I like to do – this dynamic can flash up in a dialogue and the disconnect and disappointment is evident, even if it is brushed aside and the conversation continues…

The next damaging behaviour, contempt occurs essentially any time we try to put another person down, or attempt to be superior over them… This can be done by name calling, ‘you idiot’, or through being critical… We can also show subtle but very deadly contempt of another through facial expressions, rolling of eyes, raising eyebrows, curling a lip… We have all seen people do it and maybe done it ourselves… The person is there and we raise an eyebrow to someone else…

This is contempt and is very damaging not only to the person we are in contempt of, but definitely to any relationship.

And then there is stonewalling – this happens when rather than engage we turn away because we are so upset that we fear that saying anything will only make matters worse… And so instead we turn away, say nothing…

Which makes matters worse!

It can also happen in small ways when someone doesn’t reply to a question, or make any sign of being in the conversation at a point when it is necessary to engage, say a few words, nod perhaps…

It often arises because the person stonewalling fears that speaking won’t help matters… But the action itself of stonewalling is very destructive, and it is important to work on our own part that wants to withdraw. In a relationship it can be helpful to identify the pattern and how it occurs when neither person is reacting… This way together we can work on our own part and clear the way to do something different…

For instance rather than carrying going on and on (if we are the one experiencing being ‘stone walled’)to the person with their back to us – instead we can learn to once again press that pause button – and recognise that they are upset… And if we are the person who is stonewalling, we can learn techniques of self relaxation, so that we can do something different and become aware of how upsetting our behaviour is to the other…

Even becoming more conscious of these habitual relationship issues can make a difference immediately to how we relate….

This is such powerful research, because we can transform our own lives through being conscious of our own behaviours, of our own reactivity, or of our own need to defend of criticise – to be unkind…

By committing to our part in the relationship that will keep the space safe, we can transform how we stay connected to our partner, to our children, our friends, our colleagues…

Of course if everyone is aware and committed to their own part, then the transformational energy is more powerful…

But if through reading this blog, it allows some recognition of any patterns or ways of being that we recognise – and can see their destructive energy – then even a small amount of change can start the building blocks to a healthy and flourishing relationship that can truly flourish in the space between….

And of course, as always…

The most powerful work is that which we do within ourselves…

Clearing any feelings when the urge to self criticise arises – as well as feelings that mean we want to defend ourselves or criticise another – or the pain that arises which means we want to turn away from someone who is trying to communicate with us… To clear the feelings when we find ourselves dismissing or acting contemptuously to our own efforts our own essence; to ourselves.

When we work consistently to clear any reactivity and negative feelings within ourselves – to clear the four horsemen within – then it becomes impossible to project them outwards onto another….

And once again, the magical thing is that it is in the mirror of relating where we will discover and uncover the wounds and hurts that arise for healing within ourselves and can show us the way to be whole.

I have spent my whole life interested in relationship and this empowering truth that all relating is to do with us, and that the other is simply a mirror to our own pain, or unresolved issues. 

And in observing people while sitting in cafes, it is evident how painful the lack of awareness of our own ability to heal the space between in each interaction is. 

When we know it is all ‘us’, then the magic truly can begin…

Dear Diary; The Space Between

Every day Anadi and I meet on the corner of our two streets … We meet at 7.30am to go running together, and then we meet there again at the end of the day to go wandering the streets, walking and talking and stopping (now) in eateries and drinkeries – sharing our day, sharing ourselves…

The other day when we arrived at ‘our corner’ there were two women there, chatting and laughing… Anadi was waiting nearby and when i arrived and saw them there, I laughingly said ‘You’re on our corner, it’s where we meet…’

‘We’ve seen you’, one of them replied, smiling and then gestured across the road – ‘we live over there…’

A day or so later we met them coming the other way in the street; we all smiled a greeting and as we passed one of them said, ‘It’s the lovers…!’

I reflected that her words spoke of the energy in the space between Anadi and I – of lovers – and it prompted me to write again about the space between us…

I have written about the ‘space between’ before, but it is such an important space, and it is so often not recognised quite how important, that I will write about it again…!

The space between all of us is the sacred space – it is the space where all our relationships live.

That is how important it is.

It is the home of our relationships, and if this space is clean and harmonious then our relationships are happy, harmonious, offering growth, loving fun, expansiveness…

The space between two people is also where children are being born and living, breathing, growing up – and they are being affected every single moment by the space they inhabit…

Is the space safe?

Is the space harmonious, joyous…?

Or is the space contaminated with tension, anger, fear…?

It is also the space where everything is born, ideas, creativity, trust, love, intimacy, fun… Our part in keeping the space safe between us and the other, is to reflect on and explore the space within us…

As the poet Rumi said

‘Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it…’

For ironically if it is in relationship where we are looking for the other to love us, so that we know we are loveable and loved – without looking within to where we do not love ourselves – then we can unconsciously contaminate the relational space and so contribute to getting the exact opposite to what we were seeking.

And this is in all relating, friendships, colleagues, marriages, love partnerships, between parents and children, all forms of relating you can think of…

If instead we are aware of the need to heal the aspects within us where we have built the barrier to love, then we will be in a better position to honour the space between ourselves and the other…

This practise is a forever practise, and a moment by moment practise. It is about personal responsibility and personal reflection…

In conscious relating we can share with another our own processes, when we discover a barrier to love within us… This practise, this sharing maintains safety in the space between… There are no shocks, just truthful exploration

If we always are consciously thinking… ‘What kind of energy am I putting in the space? What words am I putting there? What thoughts and feelings? what reactions?

And if we are always personally reflective from a loving stance, then we will be conscious of what we are contributing to the sacred space between us and the other…

From this place we can change our own lives and the lives of others by creating space that is loving and safe and therefore expansive with no limits to what is possible…

Dear Diary; Three thousand possibilities

Julia Chi flowers

‘God grant me the wisdom to know the people I can’t change, the wisdom to know the people I can…

And the wisdom to know the only person I can change is me…!

Anadi and I had stopped to talk to our friend who sells ‘The big issue’ magazine near Pret, on our way to get our Sunday pain aux raisins… 

He spoke of the shame and guilt he carries, ‘important to free yourself from that’, I said, ‘thats a heavy burden’… ‘It is’, he affirmed and then he told us how he prays every day to be released , and that this is also one of his prayers…

That’s the only prayer really; to know its all us… That the only person we can change is ourselves. It comes back again and again to ‘pressing that pause button’ whenever we are pointing a finger in criticism or anger at another person, at the world, at a situation… And to notice there are always three fingers pointing back at us….

These three fingers point at the need to investigate and they point to the place we can change…..

Ourselves. 

We can release the guilt and the shame; we can free ourselves from past regrets and doubt and fear, unease… We can change our patterns and re write our scripts.

We are free to do all this, moment by moment, always coming back to the breath, to the now…

In the now – the Buddha taught us – there are three thousand possibilities – in every moment we have the choice to continue on the same groove; or to go in a completely different direction… To consciously create rather than operating unconsciously.

We are free to do all this… We can flourish and heal and grow and flower

Like my two pet geraniums!

They are called Gerard and Georgina and they live on the windowsill outside the front of my flat…They have lived with me for a few months now.

Kate my landlady sent them to me because they were ill, and the previous geraniums who lived there were flourishing… So the flourishing ones went up the steps to Kate’s house, and the sick geraniums moved in…

‘We think you are a plant whisperer’ she said…’ Which is why I am sending them to you…’

And so I whispered to them every day. I told them they were beautiful and that I loved them and I said ‘hello’ and whispered sweet nothings, every single time I passed them… 

And I watered them too!

They started to get better and then to flourish and flower. They grew tall and strong and happy… They were whispered back to health

As so we too can whisper ourselves into the best health. By staying in the ‘now.’

By always noticing ourselves and staying present and affirmative; by releasing past regrets and with kind and loving words remembering that in every moment….

There are three thousand possibilities…

Dear Diary; Pure existence; Pure passion

Julia Chi Taylor - Bodhisattva Conversations

Anadi and I were enjoying a hot and humid Hyde park ‘morning meditation on the move’… Gently jogging around the Serpentine, we had just passed the Peter Pan statue when we saw a man ahead of us – a young strongly built man – his hair in a pony tail… He was walking very slowly with his hands cupped together….

We stopped beside him… ‘What have you got in your hands’ I asked… He opened them a little to reveal a brightly coloured orange and green baby parakeet. ‘It’s fallen out of a nest in a tree and can’t fly’ he said, ’I’ve been told there’s an office I can go to, I didn’t want to leave it to be savaged’… It was sitting in his hands quietly watching.

‘It trusts you completely’… I murmured as I gazed at the little creature… My body, responding with goosebumps… ‘I feel the same’ the young man said

A little baby bird, demonstrating presence, silence, stillness

Pure existence…

That evening almost five months since my last alcoholic drink I found myself sipping a delightful concoction, quite magical in its light fragrant intoxication.

The sound of happy diners all around us, a birthday party in the corner, where gales of laughter rose from at intervals… My birthday dinner too – I decided on the spur of the moment – three months on from my birthday… I have always liked an never ending birthday and this year has leant itself to that…

Pure passion was the name of the cocktail Anadi and I chose…. Looking across into the eyes of this beautiful man, I was reminded of the words by Kahil Gibran in his work ‘The Prophet’….

‘Love one another, but make not a bond of love; Let it rather be a moving shore between the shores for your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from the one cup’ 

We had one cocktail each 🙂

We were in a corner of a restaurant on the corner of a street in Chelsea called Chelsea corner! The rain was pouring down outside so hard; glistening road, windscreen wipers going on the fastest setting to no avail…

A young man passed our table, making his way to the bathrooms looking as if he had been in a swimming pool… ‘They said it was only a two minute walk’, he gesticulated to his crowd of friends who had trooped in just before him, all with umbrellas dripping….

‘Two minutes turned Into fifteen’, he continued, ‘and now I feel like I’ve been in the bath…’ He disappeared to dry himself as best he could and we glimpsed him later, continuing un deterred with his evening…

More of the same passage from Kahil Gibran came to me…

‘Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each of you be alone. Even as the strings of the lute are alone through they quiver with the same music’; and I reflected on the richness of this day, of all my days – so full of love and connection – with Anadi – with all of humanity… A baby parakeet and a big strong man, and all who I have encountered today on the path of life.

All of us journeying alone on our own path together…. The words are from a passage on marriage, but they speak to me of the journey of life, of humanity, of oneness…

We are all one…

‘You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore’