Dear Diary; Creativity in Motion

In large and small ways, in all ways…

Seeking to have something or be someone or do something important – or simply the desire that things be different than they are (even the weather!) – directs the course of most human existence…

When I have a car, a house, the new dress, the table the chairs those beautiful paintings – when the sun comes out –  I will feel happy, I will be at ease…

For awhile.

When I am rich, when I get a better job, top marks for my exam, a faster running time, become a famous musician, publish my novel and sell millions of copies, enjoy perfect clement weather at all times, I will feel content

For awhile.

It’s just that ‘they’ – anything outside us – cannot intrinsically lead us to pure joy…

And it isn’t the ‘things’ or ‘the successes’ that are vexatious to the spirit

It is the attachment to them, and the identification with them.

It is often because where has desire come from is not from our truest desire, but from our programming and conditioning…

We haven’t been going with the flow of life…

Instead attached to the oughts and the should of life, which is often accompanied by fear of not achieving or having what we want

Many people create back to front… They believe that when they have certain things, they will be able to do more and so be happy…

Whereas the truth is that when we relax deeply into being who we truly are, and do whatever we are lead to do from this place, then what we create and have is for our ultimate joy.

When we go with the flow, and hold less tightly to our dreams, then there is no struggle…

The fun of living, of being in a body, enjoying the creativity of consciousness unfolds with apparent effortlessness, even if we are working many hours on our project…

The ‘back to front’ way often ultimately creates tension and even misery, as well as feeling of envy of others if what we want doesn’t arrive; and the feeling of excitement and safety in resting in the bosom of success when it does; even an enjoyment of the adulation (and envy often) of others, can be swiftly followed by fear of loss.

But – when we know who we truly are, when we relax deeply and connect with our essence – when we are able to truly be our selves – and when we take action from this place…

Then we discover that the things we create and ‘have’ do bring joy, as they have been created from joy; from our conscious self…

From the I that witnesses it all; that watches as we journey. The I that knows we are unhappy or happy lost or found… The I that never says you are not good enough or the I that doesn’t know what being proud of you is… Who is that I?

The I beyond the I as we know it.

The I we I dentify with, our personality is not always our true essence

Clarity, silence, pure love, infinite awareness – this is who we are…

Our true nature, always there

We do not have to find who we are

We must simply let go of who we are not

Our essence, our true nature is already here

Now

And when we create from this place, we have already let go, we are going towards what we desire without attachment.

When we follow our bliss, then whatever we create is always in the now.

There is no past to be proud of, or a future destination that will make us immortal.

In the now our expression flows…

There is no ego attachment…

The only commitment

To be here enjoying the flow of creativity within us

Being ourselves in motion in our own true expression

Whatever that truly is

Now

Dear Diary; Teeming With Life and Potential

It’s late on Thursday afternoon, and I have been walking about, along the Kings road again; I walk about a lot now.

In this new phase of life, I like walking… I like journeying somewhere or nowhere.

I have often been happier journeying than arriving; perhaps because there is nowhere to arrive to.

There is no destination

No place to stop

Walking…

I like travelling, the space between; existence, no thought, no thing to say

Journeying…

There is only the inward journey to the centre point of silence  which is teeming with life and creativity… Silent, still, full of potential, awareness and aliveness.

We can experience everything, anything or

No thing 

From here.

This morning I ran intervals on the grass at Battersea Park… I love running fast; intervals can challenge at a very core level, because they ask me to be in the step without thought; and to stay still within the effort, the demand, the power and energy of the step.

Sometimes intervals are too hard

Sometimes life is too hard…

And yet we keep taking the next step – even if we have stopped – the step happens as the world turns… Time as we know it keeps moving and so to do we.

And yet there is no time

There is only now

Time an illusion

There is no time, and so nothing is moving… The real challenge is to be still within the illusion of movement.

Within the journey of this life; and to create from that centre point teeming with life, potential – energy.

Whatever we would like to experience…

In August last year, I experienced doing a handstand again, for the first time in thirty five years. I hadn’t been able to do one for all those years, because of my troublesome left side.

But I wrote it down ( in 2012!) as something I wanted to experience again…

I wonder if anything that I write down, as long as it comes from the core of my being – will happen?

That I will get to experience it in the body….

Dear Diary; Creativity in motion

Yesterday morning I woke early; I cleaned my flat – in my pants…! 

Then put my running kit on, and by 8am, everything was all sparkly clean and I was all ready to run…

At the moment, I have no running  goals, no races that I am aiming for – But I like to run – for fun, for fitness.

My creative expression…

I stepped out of the door, no real plan in mind – not even a route.

I turned up…

In front of my own blank Saturday morning canvas

I also had no real plan for my ‘Conversations with a Bodhisattva’ group.

Where I intend to show up every day for a year – at least – to see what happens…

With my creative flow…

Where will it go?

Me in motion – my canvas….. The roads, the parks, the globe…

The video camera and the blank blog page…

Even when we are not sure – turn up at the page

Even when we are afraid – turn up at the page

Even when we have nothing to say – turn up at the page

Even when we don’t want to – turn up at the page

Because magic can happen in the act off stepping out of the door, up to the easel, to the kitchen to cook; to the piano to sing…

A space of finding out…

If we want to aim for the stars, run a race, create a home, a meal, a symphony, a song, pass an exam, change the shape of our body, learn a language 

We need to turn up…

And in turning up, we can explore what it is we might want… Investigate it more deeply, open the door to our dreams…

And while we are there look for where there are blocks, the incongruencies, the hold ups…

We want to start the day running – but we love to lie in bed

We want to be slimmer, but we so love to eat

We want to pass an exam, but prefer to meet friends than revise…

All of this must be brought from the shadows, into the light

In the light we can we work it all out; integrate it and we are set free

To plan the next stage… 
How do we do this dream? What do we need…?

To reach for our own star….

The plan unfolds… The journey has begun; we must give ourselves time – and relax in each step

Remember to breathe – and find the silence in the breath, stay in each step as we make our way to our goal….

Turn up each day with or without a spring in our step – a space in our heart to find out; to unravel; to turn this way and that …

To discover things we never knew about ourselves, about life, about others.

To uncover latent talents, inner strengths.

To learn new skills..

As our creativity flows…. And then the goal – whether we reach it or not – has served its purpose…

Our creativity spilling out

Us in motion each day

The blank canvas alive – with our energy and light.