Category: Diary of a Bodhisattva

I love journeying to nowhere.

Travelling on a plane or a train, with a the sense of no where to go and nothing to do.

A sense of purpose in not going anywhere…

Even when there is a destination ahead, it allows the moment to shimmer in its glorious essence and for the ‘not knowing’ to be fully experienced.

The journey of life going nowhere, only inward to truth. 

The inner journey asks that we become at ease with the unease of uncertainty; to become certain that in each moment we have all there is to step into the new unknown next moment.

Often we might stay trapped in patterns, even those we don’t like much, because they are familiar, known, uncomfortably comfortable.

But the new is unknown… And this is its gift, its expansion, its limitlessness…

And so once again, I find myself writing on a plane , six miles high, enjoying the in between land… But journeying to Edinburgh is an up and down voyage, no sooner have we set off, that it seems preparations to land are in action…

My brother suggested when I told him of my love of journeying, my enjoyment of the in between world of one moment, time suspended – that I take the train to Edinburgh – longer to be in that space, to feel tangibly the essence of the words the Buddha spake

3000 possibilities in each moment, the potential in every moment for the past to heal and for the future to be new.

I believe my brother is right, another time, I will journey by train, and watch the countryside flash by for mile after mile, while I stay still.

I feel very glad to be starting a diary blog again…

I kept a daily diary from the age of 14 to 22 and have since then written blogs and books and scribbled in notebooks.

And so here I am turning up again on my road less travelled, to share some of the steps I take towards freedom.

Which is our birthright, it is there for each and every one of us, and the keys lie within.

Because the freedom is within and when we find the keys we discover that the door to our cage was never locked.

It has been open all the time and all we had to do was spread our wings and fly.

But to fly free and light we must first let go of all that is heavy inside, all we believe to be who we are, all the stuff if our life – of lifetimes.

The story of our life can be charged with energy and reactivity and attachment to the hurts.

Which means that the past crowds into the present and our future…

But when we decide the time has come let go, to surrender then we can start to remember who we truly are….

I ran in the rainy grey sky along the grey river to the park, wet damp with dripping trees and sodden grass, shiny roads. The whizz of bikes and the pad of running feet.

This park that I raced races around many times, many years ago.

A track I once trained on as a ‘twenty-something’ full of ambition and burning zeal.

And today I find myself here again.

The burning zeal and ambition have left.

They left when they were done, when they were ready.

I let them go again and again, surrendered to the silence, felt free – for a while – but then back they always came, and so I followed their energy to feel it, to experience it – to see where it took me, to discover, running to learn…

What I needed to let go of, what I needed to clear, to surrender…

And then one day it seemed they were gone – I was left with the step.

Just the one

And the next

Revealing the path.