The art of running has been a lifelong practice for me.
I remember it all began when I was six years old – I am sixty one years old now – fifty five years have passed and I am still perfecting the art of running…
The funny thing is that the result of my practise in absolute terms is that after years and years of practising I am getting slower and slower… What a funny thing that is! 🙂
However – I notice that the tension that built as I pushed harder and harder to get faster and faster, has gone and I feel like the child again.
I remember reading a book by Paul Auster, a novelist I enjoyed very much. I read many of his books and in one, an autobiographical story about his father – he wrote about a man he met in Paris who was a composer. The man was old now and living alone and he composing a symphony so huge that is could never be finished.
He saw this as his connection to God – to the divine – as it wasn’t about achievement or attainment… It was simply his art pouring from him – perfecting it in something that would never be finished and so never could be anything but an expression of his soul in motion…
This spoke to me and I recognised this in my running, which I have practised for so long – only to get slower and slower – that the real purpose has been in the practise and the letting go of seeking achievement… And yet to still practise running to experience freedom in each step and to create my own never ending symphony…
I noticed when I am practicing that the main ingredient necessary to create this symphony is simply that each day I must turn up – each moment I must be there, here…
Every day is new, every day we are creating our life in each moment.
We can practice our own art, we can practice our life, we can hone our skills and it doesn’t matter how long it takes. It doesn’t matter if we are still practicing our skills and honing them and when we come to die, we haven’t ‘arrived’ – because there is nowhere to get to, so we can’t arrive anywhere.
There is only the deepening of the practice, which where possible, needs to be practised without tension. The ultimate is that it is carried out with joy, expressed with clarity, because whatever we are practicing is being communicated out into the world for others to see
Now of course this doesn’t mean that we don’t dare start, because we are aware that our expression and our art cannot be clear and free of tension when we begin…
Because it is in the practicing that we can see where there is tension and stress, and so have the opportunity to clear it away. It is in the practicing that we discover our tension, and our fear, and also where we learn how to free our soul so that it is in motion through the conduit of the physical manifestation…
I have discovered that in practicing running almost every day of my life, that gradually there has been more and more freedom in each step – more Zen…
I have learned how to become the master of my body and my mind; rather than the body and mind controlling ‘me’.
I trained myself to silence my mind firstly, through the practice of putting other things into the mind – so it wasn’t exactly silencing the mind, but it was a route to stillness.
In place of any negative thoughts, I put mantras, for example ‘I love you thank you thank you I love you’ was one of my favourites, as well as ‘I’m sorry please forgive me I love you thank you’ – and there were others at different times ‘Om ma ni pad me hum’ and ‘Nam myoho renge kyo’… To name a few.
Immediately, when I awoke in the morning, if I felt these negative thoughts coming in, I would start the mantra. This meant that straight away a relaxation occurred within my being… I would then get out of bed and begin my daily practice of stretching and strength and balancing exercises… Meanwhile coffee would be brewing in the kitchen, so next I would go and sit and drink coffee.
I didn’t allow any thoughts of ‘I don’t want to go’ or ‘it’s raining’ or ‘it’s cold and dark’ to enter my being… I would instead just enjoy my ‘coffee meditation’ – present to each delightful sip, and would then literally step out of the front door.
One step is all that is needed, and then the next takes care of itself – and the next and the next.
This is why following things that excite us, or interest us, can be wonderful for our growth – to ‘find out’ through the practises…
Practicing is part of life on earth, practicing anything, practicing meditation, practicing, singing, practicing speaking in public, practising art, cooking, computer programming…Whatever we want to practise…
It is always remembering that being still is the ultimate place to practise living from – being silent – dropping between the thoughts to the place of complete silence…
The practice of stillness and silence is the most vital part of any practice.
If we practice from this place of silence, then our expression is limitless, and there is no attachment to an outcome.
And then our expression is a reflection of our limitless, infinite nature.