Dear Diary; I am where I am

Julia Chi Taylor - Bodhisattva Conversations

A new coffee shop has opened boasting delicious cakes and pastries, ginger shots lime and turmeric too – and of course amazing coffee – an artist for a barista drawing beautiful scenes on the top of our magical brews

It is situated right on the corner between my home and Anadi home and so we met to sit for half an hour in the midst of our working day – and chat and drink more coffee…

I had a blueberry and banana muffin to go with my brew – I’d brought along two big pashmina scarfs to keep us warm – and there we were…

The hum of the traffic our constant coffee shop background music was broken by the sudden shrill sound of an ambulance in a rush; a police car in front, navigated its way through the traffic and a red light – slowing the traffic for the ambulance to tear on through… 

‘I am a city girl now – in this now, that’s what I am’… I realised in that instant on a bench wrapped up, drinking coffee with my best friend, boyfriend, husband….

I had always thought I was a sea dweller… But it seems that the sound of traffic will do just as well as the sound of the crashing waves.

I am where I am. And it’s okay…

This phrase is a useful one always to remember to say wherever we are and whatever is going on in our world – if we are in the middle of a divorce or a redundancy or grieving over a loved one, or in the midst of a changed pandemic world…

To be able to stop and breathe in, and say those words, can help to process it all and allow us to come back to the very centre of our being where all is eternal 

Where the is no beginning and no end

No death, only life eternal 

And to be where we are

Here and Now.

I am where I am

Dear Diary; Full of Aliveness

Wednesday October 21st… Today it is my little sister’s birthday.

It is rather strange to have a little sister aged fifty nine years…

She will always be my little sister and we were to meet today – but London’s rules meant that she had to cancel her birthday lunch here in London Town…

And so I am now in a coffee shop alone – we spoke just now and I sang her the birthday song – she is celebrating by the sea and I am here – writing…

Both of us are where we didn’t plan to be… But still having a lovely day; together in birthday spirit but apart…

Me in a favourite place and she too – our childhood holiday destination, Hope Cove in Devon…

It feels like another life now, those days so long ago, that happened but never did! 

When we walked together along the coastal path, on the beach and body surfed in the waves – ate chocolate cake in Auntie Dorothy’s tea shop and made friends with the group of Scottish boys who taught us a mad song and how to sing it with a Scottish accent…

‘Ooh the brown troot’s gotten out and eaten all the corrrn’!

All part of the flickering screen of this life, an illusion on the screen – but real. While we are here.

The realness of our body, our separation from each other; the planet, the universe and all that there is…

This stage, the play of our life ever continuing, the curtain falling and rising again on all the different scenes…

New characters arriving and playing their part and then leaving ‘stage left’ – perhaps never to return again.

Some leading roles along with us, who of course is the star of our own show – some bit parts – or part of the chorus, the extras that wander along the streets and sit behind us in the restaurants and coffee shops lending a look of a real life occasion in our real life play…

This dream from which we can wake up at any time.

And know who we truly are

Beyond the dreaming state of illusion and emotional and psychological dramas that we continuously create…

The still small voice of calm speaks as we awaken

It speaks always

This silence, the mind quiet, all quiet and still

From within

And all round

The centre and circumference of all being

Silence

And so we continue when we awaken from the dream…

Alive, free…

Full of aliveness