Dear Diary; Life Goes On

Anadi and I sat outside drinking our coffee on a bright winter Sunday… ‘It feels like summer’ I mused, the sky clear blue and the almost solstice sun warming our faces…

‘It’s always summer where you are beautiful’, Anadi commented – I was immediately reminded of a favourite quote of mine by Albert Camus

‘And in the midst of winter, I found that there was, within me, an invincible summer…’

It resonated with me when I first discovered it – my life’s journey had always been about understanding the challenges, the painful processes that sometimes felt like a cold and unforgiving ‘winter within’ –  and I had come to recognise that the truth of me, the life force from which we are all born was ever present.

The I – the true I – below the ego I that struggled and resisted, the I below the struggle was always there – and so it was that in the midst of winter I found my own invincible summer; and this has sustained me through all the challenges I have since encountered…

I am always aware of it… This life stream, this inner sun, this invincible force, the flame that never goes out.

And it is there within us all, whatever appears to be going on on the outer levels – we can turn inwards to this inner sun, which can warm us and light the way – even when all our plans are disrupted, when change happens and it feels too much to bear.

Turn inwards, and there is the invincible summer… The warmth of the sun burning bright and the happiness you seek outside discovered on the journey to your ease within.

Easy words to write I know, when many people now are experiencing disappointment, separation and distress.

But the inner journey is the way to ease from the dis ease – as the Buddha said 

“There is no path to happiness, happiness is the path”

We had stood the day before – in manufactured sun -beside brightly burning heaters in the rainy Duke of York square, a Jazz band played in the corner and some acrobatic gymnasts performed for us in a created plastic bubble.

There was a buzz of joy, some danced to the jazz band, people wandered about, children zoomed on bikes and the Christmas lights of the Kings road twinkled brightly

Life goes on

A man came up to tie up the huge umbrellas securely – we exchanged greetings, ‘would you like a cranberry in a coat’ – I offered him my ‘packet from Pret’

‘No thanks’, he laughed – ‘but I’d say yes to a brandy and coke…’

Life goes on…