Moving Forward Without Losing Yourself

Art by Julia Chi

Following on from last week, I was reflecting on my work with people, which is often about their goals in life and the challenges they encounter in all areas of their lives…

And the question arises ‘How do we move forward in life, embrace all the challenges and stretch for goals without losing ourselves…?

How do we stay connected to presence – to our true self – whilst living fully in the world?

There is always an inner journey unfolding.

Even as we: pursue big goals, work within organisations, create families navigate full and complex lives, there is something within us that is always aware.

A quiet witnessing presence.

And if we can stay connected to that, even if it feels it’s only a small thread at times,  then we remain rooted in something deeper than the activity of our lives.

Of course, we can step away from the world.

We can retreat from the world, and live somewhere away from the hustle and bustle where we can into silence, into stillness, into pure awareness, and recognise that this is what we are.

But there is another way to practise the inner work… It is not only to find presence in stillness…

It is to remain present within life itself.

There is a story of a nun who retreated into silence for twelve years.

Eventually, she returned to the world and took a bus into the local village to begin working.

As she sat on the bus, she noticed irritation arising toward the other passengers.

And in that moment, she realised that her real practise had just begun!

There is another story of a man who would row his boat to the middle of a lake to meditate in peace.

One day, as he lay there with his eyes closed, another boat suddenly knocked into his.

He felt immediate irritation and sat up, ready to confront the person responsible.

But when he opened his eyes, he saw…

There was no one there.

The boat had simply drifted loose from its moorings.

In that moment, he saw clearly:

The reaction had come from within him.

To be human is not only to do, but to be.

And in every moment it is important that we remain aware of this being aspect, not just in quiet moments, but in the midst of life.

In fact, it is often in the most challenging moments that we come to know ourselves most deeply.

Because these are the moments where we may slip from awareness into reactivity, move into fear, become caught in stress or exhaustion

Stress often arises from a loss of presence.

It is connected to fear of what is to come, the belief that we cannot manage, the pressure of expectations, the feeling that we must live up to a standard in order to be worthy

And so we move away from ourselves.

It is also very common to measure ourselves against others.

But comparison is deeply unhelpful.

It takes us away from self-acceptance, awareness, self-love

Because the truth is that we are each on a unique path! And we cannot ever truly know what it is like to live another person’s life

And so always, the journey is always to travel inward – to connect with ourselves, to love ourselves, to accept ourselves, to forgive ourselves… Because from this place, something shifts.

We naturally begin to release judgement, both of ourselves and of others.

And we come back to the inner journey.

When we stay connected to presence, something very subtle but powerful changes.

Our thoughts, words and actions begin to arise not from conditioning, expectation, or ‘oughts’ and shoulds’, but from something deeper.

From our true self.

I have always loved running.

And for me, striving toward excellence or a goal has often been a doorway into inner awareness, even though, at times, I have also been caught in the illusion of achievement.

There is a beautiful teaching from Sri Chinmoy:

‘Run and become.
Run to succeed in the outer world.
Become to proceed in the inner world.’

And this speaks so clearly to the balance.

We can move forward in life.
We can engage, create, achieve.

But at the same time…

We can remain rooted in presence.

The path is not about withdrawing from life.

It is about being present within it! being present within it.

It is about noticing when we lose ourselves and gently returning – again and again – and over time, something becomes more stable.

We are no longer dependent on circumstances to feel grounded and present.

We carry that connection and ease within us. always

To move forward without losing yourself is not about holding tightly to an identity.

It is about staying connected to the awareness beneath it.

To the stillness.

To the presence.

And from that place, we can live fully.

We can engage with the world.

We can grow, create, and evolve.

Without ever truly leaving ourselves behind.

The Space between stimulus and response

Art by Julia Chi

Every moment is creative.

We often don’t think of life this way, but in truth, each moment is shaping something. Each moment is forming the direction of our lives.

And much of this happens through something very simple:

Conversation.

My work with people is essentially this – a useful conversation.

And what I see, again and again, is that within any conversation there are countless possibilities.

Each exchange is not fixed.
Each moment is not predetermined.

It is more like threads weaving a tapestry.

Every word, every tone, every silence – adds a new thread.

And over time, these threads become the fabric of our lives.

The Expansion and Contraction of Life

Our richness in life is shaped by how many different conversations we are able to have.

Our world expands through dialogue.

And it contracts when we close dialogue down.

Why do we close it down?

Often, it is because it doesn’t fit our beliefs, it challenges our identity, it feels uncomfortable – and in those moments, something in us tightens.

We move away from openness.
We move back into the familiar.

And life becomes smaller.

In any given moment, there are countless ways we can respond.

With different words, with different tones, with different actions, even with silence.

Each response leads us somewhere new.

Each one shapes the unfolding of our lives in a different direction.

We often feel that we are being spontaneous, that we are being original, authentic, ourselves.

But if we look more closely…

How many of our thoughts are truly new?
How many of our responses are fresh?

And how many are simply repeating patterns we have lived out many times before?

This is not wrong.

It is simply unconscious.

There is a Buddhist teaching that says there are three thousand possibilities in every moment.

This is not meant literally, but it points to something profound:

Life is vast.
Possibility is vast.

And yet, many of us live in quite narrow loops.

Why?

Because we are not fully present.

We become identified with our thoughts, rather than recognising ourselves as the awareness behind them.

So a deeper question begins to emerge:

Who is the “I” beneath the ego “I

Between stimulus and response… there is a space.

Between something happening… and our reaction to it… there is a gap.

And within that gap lies possibility.

Without awareness, there is automatic reaction.

With awareness, there is conscious response.

When we react, we are re-enacting the past.

When we pause, we open the door to something new.

This is not about becoming perfect.

It is about becoming aware.

You might begin simply by noticing:

Your habitual responses: Your tone of voice, repeated phrases you might say again and again, your emotional reactions to a comment, a message, a feeling…

And then – Press pause.

Because this pause is not empty.

It is alive.

The Doorway to Freedom

In that space, something shifts.

You are no longer reacting.

You are creating.

You begin to take responsibility for the direction of your life – moment by moment.

And you begin to see that life is not happening to us.

It is being shaped… in every moment… through our awareness, our choices, our responses.

The more present we are, the more possibilities we can access.

The more we pause, the more life opens.

And slowly, something changes.

We are no longer caught in repetition.

We are no longer confined to old patterns.

We begin to live more consciously, more creatively, more freely.

Between stimulus and response…

Your life is being created.

And in that space…

There is always the possibility for something new.

Soaring Spirit

Julia Chi Taylor

Let your spirit soar!

Let it to be free…

Resist weighing it down with layers of thought and heavy feelings.

Stay present – and you will notice in every moment, the bright light that burns within and never ever goes out – ever.

It may feel it has at times – when the burdens are heavy, and the world feels bleak… Then the joy and light can seem to have fled.

But deep within all is well; even in the most tragic and trying of circumstances there is the ever burning light, of the truth of who you are… Knowing this, experiencing this, changes everything…

It doesn’t mean you won’t feel pain and grief at times, but there will be an absence of unnecessary suffering that so often accompanies our difficulties – and instead, we can experience the deep space and silence within.

In time, the more we practice presence – an awareness arises – that whatever distress or suffering you might be experiencing in the outer realms, can be shifted through journeying within – to the core of your being – and healing from the inside out.

The only way is inwards, to be able go onwards with a lighter step. The only way is to go within to heal and become whole, and then you will see this reflected on the screen of life, and in the reflection of another, all others….

Your soaring spirit dancing and playing… 

The inner journey can feel a hard one at first,,,

’If the outer would change, all would be well’, we think…

‘If he would change, she would change, I had more of this or that, and less distress – all would be well…’

But when we start to go within – we discover the answers lie there…

And the work has begun,

To set yourself free

Awareness

Julia Chi Taylor

I ran down the five flights of stairs from my flat as a start to my run!

On reaching the lobby, I poked my nose out of the door – the rain was pouring down…!

(I can’t see rain from my flat!)

Rain jacket needed, I caught the lift back up to the 5th floor! 🙂 

Down the stairs I ran again – and out into the streets to a delightful rainy March morn…

I jogged 300 metres to the King’s road…

I love that road…

I always have

It has an air of happening energy and possibility – creativity in motion

The years of people going by – and by – making their way.

For others it may be a different experience…

We are all living in our own ‘movie’ – but we so often make the mistake of believing others are experiencing the world as we do… 

With awareness and presence to our own ‘now’, it is easier to cross the bridge into the worlds of others 

To be where they are too 

Now

But first and foremost if we are aware of our every breath, our every thought, our every action then life is transformed…

But to do this it means clearing the emotional pain, the psychological dramas that can arise in any moment;

And when we practise living this way, in time we experience that we are the awareness that is aware….

I was first attracted to the King’s road for a shopping trip when I was fourteen – over the years I have returned, again and again – and now I live a short distance away from its hustle and bustle, it’s unique essence.

I jogged past ‘The Duke of York Square’ where the Saturday Food market stall holders were starting to set up, and on to Sloane Square, turning right and making my way down to Chelsea bridge and over it to run about in Battersea Park

All these places so familiar, so many of ‘the stories of my life ’ have happened around here…

I was racing races in Battersea Park when I was still in my 20’s 

And now in my 60’s its like none of it ever happened

Because the now is now

And the now feels better because of the past that never happened

And is also happening

Now

Awareness is everything; when we are aware we will become aware that we are the awareness and we have always been free

Now