Dear Diary, Totality

I love sitting on the window of the coffee shop up the road from my office.

In truth there are about four or five ‘up the road ‘ equi distance – and then more and more in an ever increasing circumference around me.

I am surrounded by opportunities to ‘sit and stare’ with great purpose, just because I am having a coffee – or a beetroot oat latte or a matcha with coconut milk!
So much possibility of choice – and colour!
I have always chosen my food by colour…

And so – I am here – in my element – my coffee shop element.

And through the  window I watch the world go by – or  queue!
For the last three weeks there has been a long line, comprised mainly of women which just now dwindled and disappeared.
There is pop up Glossier shop – here til February I have gleaned .

I had become quite accustomed to the queue – outside the window.

And people wandering walking talking, not many moving fast…
I am in tourist land here.
Many holiday makers

I feel like I am on holiday too.

I have felt this way all my life.
My life a holiday
A total lifestyle

Or maybe rather than feeling that I am on holiday – I feel that I don’t work.

And yet it’s one of the things I like doing more than anything.
I was sitting with Anadi the other day – in Megan’s restaurant – great coffee – and I said to him…
‘All I really want to do in my life is work’ and he said ‘Yes me too’… And then he added… ‘And spend time with you…’
‘Oh yes – spend time with you…’ I replied
”I love that…

And I do like going running and playing in the gym and going to the theatre and cinema…
And eating lovely food.
So  that’s it…
A total lifestyle.

Happy being where I am – in any moment
Totally there

Totality – is being exactly where we are – fully doing what be are doing and trusting that the next moment will take care of itself.

In the Osho Zen tarot cards “Totality’ is represented by a picture of three trapeze artists, one of them is in the space where she has been let go of by one of her trio and is in mid air, before catching the hands of the next…

Total trust is needed, and total attention, never wavering from being present.

In that gap which is the present moment, where we have no idea what will happen next.
We must just be there.
Here and now

The queue has started to form again… Outside the window, where I am sitting…