I am flying high, away from the little island in the sun towards our winter island cloaked today in misty drizzle…
I love our rainy grey island, that can suddenly bursts into clear blue brightness – for a few days at a time… Before withdrawing again behind a veil of rain, dark blue grey black clouds turning the landscape blue grey too – and then revealing watery sun; always the promise of something new.
And so we are flying back to London Town on New Year’s eve… A new decade unfolding before us, in this moment.
I have never made new year resolutions… Except – I do remember once, when I was about eight or nine, resolving to be nicer to my little sister…!
Remembering this today, I asked Anadi… ’Should I resolve to be nicer to you’? He assured me ‘no’! That I was always nice to him!
Two years running I thought perhaps I would try to have a year where I drank more alcohol – I have never been very good at that!
But I didn’t manage it….
Essentially my intention is always to be silent within, more still, still – no noise inside. Clear.
This is my only resolve.
It has always been thus; but in the past I had much more ‘going on’ – much more noise and chaos reflected in the dramas of my life… my self in relationships to unravel – where to go, what to do, with whom – how? why? where?
Patterns repeating and cycling around, in my running, my life, my relating with others
And always I came back again and again to the common denominator in it all… me – reflected everywhere… Only my own lessons to focus on… Not those of the other… (however tempting that seemed at times!)
And so as the cycles cycled and the years passed, and gradually the pain cleared – and the patterns cleared too – until they were no more.
And the landscape of my life altered – unrecognisably in many ways.
And yet, it looks the same as always from the outside in… To others – the same as always, the life of Julia!
Helping, guiding, mentoring others; Running; Having fun; With a man….
But it all feels different within, more freedom within than ever before.
Our birthright is freedom, for all of us. Our birthright is love, unconditional, for all of us…
When we journey inwards to discover who we truly are, we will discover how to be alone and to truly love our self.
And so we re discover our true nature… And in every moment be here, now…
Every moment celebrate the new, every second, every minute every hour, day month and year…
Every decade – new.