Dear Dairy; Let go, Now

It’s funny really, when I think of how many words I write about my life, when I do the same thing.

Day after day

Everything the same

I run, I write, I spend time with Anadi,  I work with my clients

And I drink coffee, too…

And when I am resting, I don’t really do anything.

I don’t watch television, I don’t even listen to music ( I used to when I had a car; in the car!)

When the theatres and cinemas are open, and the restaurants too…I enjoy those things.


I like doing nothing, no thing at all

I like silence, to be silent, no talking, no sound around me

I like being alone

I like being


We are all alone really and truly, we came into this incarnation alone and we leave alone.

I remember reading the words of Rumi, about twenty years ago, I was forty one years old…

‘Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language, even the phrase ‘each other’ doesn’t make any sense’.

And I didn’t like the idea of ‘each other’ not making any sense then.

I felt a slight discomfort, a feeling of distress…

‘Each other’ having been my lifelong quest, love, togetherness – each other.

But I felt the truth of the words.

And so I knew there was more work to be done…

More journeying

To learn to be alone

And to know that field

To lie down in it and be free, to understand that ideas and language are just that, ideas and language and that the world is too full to talk about.

And so I make another cup of coffee and sit silently, sipping the black liquid, a place of meditation for me for so many years.

And I let go

Of all the pressure to do more, to be more, to have more.

And I understand in each sip, the one realisation 

The years and years and years of seeking, distill into now…

One sip, one moment


This is all it takes, now, and now, and now

Our realisation, our freedom. all arise in an instant


We are all free

We simply need to know this, see this

And let go